February 19th 2008

February 19th 2008

I wrote this blog.

And i titled it "Nonsense"

 

Nonsense...

I just want to be happy...
I know everyone else in the world wants the same thing.
But i am not everyone else in the world,
and i am not talking to everyone else in the world,
And i am not talking about everyone else in the world.
And everyone else in the world, is not reading this....
But, you are. And i am writing this.
I want to be happy.
I want to be content.
Satisfied.
Worry-Free.

I want to never have to worry about anything ever again.
When will the day come that i wont have to question anything in my mind.
Why can i not just have somebody in my life that i wont ever have to question.
OR DOUBT.
You know....
I was happy.
I thought i was happy anyway's. I thought i was content. I felt satisfied.

But why, all of a sudden, everything i thought, isnt what it really was. Or is. Whatever.
Maybe i am happy.. Maybe i am not. I know i dont feel content, and comfortable, and safe.
I dont feel satisfied. I would know if i was satisfied....
But something.... Something out there, in this world, is making me want more.
Maybe it's because i know in the back of my mind, there is something more out there..
There's got to be more. If there wasnt, then we probably all would have killed our-selves by now..
If we didnt think there was better, greater, more wonderful.
We would all be gone.
I guess that is where HOPE steps in.

Wow, once again i write and write and question, and then all of a sudden, i answer my own questions.
Hah, i do have hope. But where is that one thing that i am talking about, that i am looking for. Where is it? Am i doing something wrong here, is it not meant for me?
Am i not supposed to want it, or have it..
Where is it, seriously? Why is it i cannot have what i am longing for?
I know i am talking in riddle's, i most usually alway's do..


I am just talking a bunch of nonsense. For real. I dont even understand myself and what i say, why would i expect anyone else to? Maybe i should just get some sleep, and think about it another time.. It's 1:10, i am pretty tired.. Goodnight.