I do this so, This world will know, That it will not change me.

So.. I found alot of my old blogs tonight. I enjoyed writing them as well as reading them.. So im considering posting some of them on here. I was hoping someone, somewhere might enjoy them.. As people used to. This was written June 9th 2007 By Yours Truly...

There is so much i want to say. So much i want to write. But i just cant find all of the words to express how i feel right now. I cant just straight out in detail explain what im talking about. If i end up talking or trying to explain myself, im only going to talk in riddles. And nobody is going to understand a word i say.

And no, your royal rudeness. I am not being emotional. I love when i try to express my feeling's, or talk about what's on my mind, i get called emotional. Have you ever just stopped and thought that maybe, i am just a deep person? You might not be able to see that sometime's, but i am. There is so much inside of me, so much to me, that you cannot and will not ever see. Only i will see and feel it.

Today, i keep thinking about.. "Change". I hate change sometimes. You know everything could stay as it was, and as it is, if it wasnt for some sort of change.

People changing is what hurt's the most though. And when people change, when one certain individual changes than that goes onto change your world. All it take's is two seconds of a change, and in the blink of an eye everything is changed, and your plan's.... Well they are no longer your plans. Well it's not that they are no longer your plan's, it's more like your plan's no longer exsist. They've been erased.

That's just life though im guessing. Maybe that's when it all come's down to fate, and thing's being meant to be, or not meant to be. Change hurt's though, i tell ya that much. It has always hurt ME anyway's.... Like a thorn in my heart. Maybe not so much in the end, because SOMETIMES you realize that everything worked out the way it should or the way it was supposed to, but in the beginning; change sure is a killer.

I've been here before. Im no stranger to the rain. But i will once again put up my shield and make it through this time like i did the time before, and the time before, and ALL of the time's before. Im strong, i know i am. I've alway's been strong. And when the suffering comes i dwell in it. Untill, i come out of the situation untouched, unbroken, refined and unknown.

I'll never change. You will never change me. You can try and try and try, but it will NEVER happen. Knock me down a million time's over, and you'll NEVER keep me down. I'll jump right back up, and finish what i started. Screw the world, Im a survivor, im stronger than what you ever thought i was, or could be. I am not weak, i can promise you that.. I am woman, hear me roar.

You've never met someone like me, you still havent met me, you probably never will. But not because i chose not to let you in, but because you chose to refrain from giving in to knowing this person, this life, and this love. That's your choice. Your loss. Go on with your life, and forget the one you thought you once knew. Because i was never really there. I was only a figment of your imagination.

Hah, i just talked in riddle's. Did you understand a word i said? I didnt think so.

*The title above was the original title by the way. It's from one of my favorite Garth Brook's songs..