Stepping Stones... (stronger)

When i think about how far i have come, i feel a little surprised.. Month's ago, if you had asked me how i was, i would have told you, i'd be better off dead, than living and feeling how i felt...

But today, i dont even know who that person was. I dont even remember the heart ache as much. Every once in a while i have these little flashbacks of me sitting on the bathroom floor with my face down, crying my eyes out, listening to Christian music, and begging God to help me.....

And sometimes when im sitting outside, i can remember for days apon days, just sitting on my front patio, on the bench, in a daze, like a lifeless, zombie, without a soul.... Just waiting, for something.. Anything....

I have these little flashbacks and i think wow, that was me (then)...
But look at me now... I can smile again, love again, laugh again, i feel like me again, except i feel, better somehow.

And im not saying im 110% better, or that my heart has been completely restored to how it once was, but im not who i was then... I dont feel how i felt then...


It amazes me.


I got out my journal the other day, and read a few pages of prayers, and honestly, i think to myself... **Wow, i felt that way?** I cant imagine it. Hah, if he only knew. Nobody will ever know. And hopefully, one day, neither will i....

Because if at this point in life i've gotten this far, and ive recovered this much, and im as strong as i am today, then 5 more months from now, it will all be the biggest blur, a memory block, nothing there... I'll say, what? No way... I did that? Hah, i dont think so.. That just doesnt sound like me.. ;)


...Just another stepping stone, my dear....
Just another little stepping stone, on my way to where im going.

5 months ago, if someone had told me, id be alright, and time would heal my wounds, and it'll get better, i would have told them... They didnt know how i felt, and i would have said there is no way i could ever feel better. I would have said... I will never be happy again.

But let me tell you, By the grace of God..... I've been saved. I've been changed. My heart is healing, my joy has been restored, by the grace of God.


Romans 5:1-5 Therefor being justified by FAITH, we have PEACE with GOD through our LORD JESUS CHRIST: By whom also we have access by FAITH into this GRACE wherein we stand and REJOICE in hope of the glory of God!

And not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces PERSEVERANCE; Perseverance, character, and character, HOPE.

And HOPE does not put us to shame.... But because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us <3 __________________________________________________________ *I get a little bit stronger* Everytime i hear this song, every word of it, just brings me back, and forward....... "I get a little bit stronger" more and more, every single day. And i praise GOD for it. If it wasnt for him, i assure you, i'd be in the same shape i was in last year. God is so good! Even when we think he isnt there, i promise you he is ;) He's just working behind the scenes.. Dont give up, Just you wait, And see where the Lord brings you....


<3



I havent written in so long, and now i feel like i could go on and on, but i better stop now before i write way too much lol. Good Morning everyone. I thank & praise God for getting me through ANOTHER day! (EVERY DAY) :-)


P.S. Those stepping stones in the picture above ^ are real stepping stones from a time in my life... A picture from the past. On the property where we grew up.. Where memories were made. These were in the backyard of my Aunt/Uncle's trailer.. Even then was just a stepping stone..